Using Rejection as Revelation

Rejection often feels like a door slamming shut, leaving us with confusion and hurt. Yet, sometimes rejection opens a window to deeper understanding and growth. My journey as a life coach on a women’s safari taught me this lesson in a way I never expected. What began as an exciting opportunity ended with harsh feedback and the loss of future chances with that business. But through that experience, I discovered who I truly am, how to anchor my identity in God, and how to recognize when a situation is not the right fit for me.

When reality isn't quite what we thought

When I was hired to be a life coach on a women’s safari, I felt a mix of excitement and responsibility. This was a unique chance to blend my passion for coaching with a transformative travel experience. I envisioned empowering women in a breathtaking environment, helping them unlock new perspectives, while also discovering more about myself and taking my work into a new dimension.

At first, the trip seemed to be going well. The group was engaged, and I felt connected to the participants. But as the days passed, I noticed subtle energy shifts emerge. I noticed it - but I didn't catch it in a way to redirect. We had opened so strong, I felt so confident and knew my program brings beautiful results about who you are being but I missed a beat somewhere and I lost them. Or perhaps they abandoned their engagement, after several long days and feeling weary, closing up their desire to explore deeper parts of themselves. I shifted the program to adapt but I think it sort of crumbled instead. I was aware, no one said anything and my attempts missed the mark. I knew this much was true.

Facing the Sting of Negative Feedback

Once the post trip feedback had been received, an email came with the impending results. They didn't like my program AND they didn't like ME. The owner of the company wrote kindly and gently but direct. She understands what it means to get feedback like that. She was compassionate but chose not to pursue future collaborations together. Full stop. It felt like a door closing on a dream.

I was at work when this came in, and yes it absolutely derailed me in the moment.

Receiving harsh, personal feedback can shake anyone’s confidence. I found myself questioning my abilities and my worth. It was tempting to let this rejection define me or to retreat into self-doubt.

And I did - for a bit. I let myself feel those things - but not become them. So alongside of feeling the feels, I also reflected deeply, uncomfortably. I asked myself:

• What was unshakeably REAL FOR ME?

• Where did I grow during the trip?

• What can I learn from this experience?

• What parts of the feedback were valid, and which were simply a mismatch, and/or unmet expectations for EVERYONE?

  
  

This process was not easy. It required honesty and courage to face uncomfortable truths without losing sight of my value. It was very much like an audit exercise and a reconciliation of what is true, and what is opinion or preference.

Women not liking my program is preference.

Women not liking me is preference.

My coaching skills are good - and proven - in other areas. That is true.

My value cannot and will not be given or taken from anyone but GOD HIMSELF. That is true.

My enjoyment of the the trip, the women, the versions of me in Africa, are all true experiences TO ME and not anyone else. That is true.

Discovering Identity Beyond Approval

Integrating this experience has been a critical lesson in identity. For the majority of my life I have placed my value in the hands and hearts of OTHER PEOPLE. It is so nice to be validated and praised by someone else, rather than try to believe or fill my own sense of worth.... Agree? BUT also - not super healthy is it? Kind of at the peril of people's preferences, culture, opinions etc! So when that approval disappears, it can leave us feeling lost, questioning our reality and our identity.

Then what!

What will hold you when the bottom drops out, and what will you grow from and learn about yourself?

I turned to my faith and found strength in knowing that my identity is rooted in something unchanging. My relationship with God became the foundation that held me steady. This shift helped me see rejection not as a reflection of my worth but as a part of a larger journey. Breaking the bondage of rejection as a bad thing, as an externally determined thing, as something undesirable.

And making it NORMAL. PART OF LIFE. And being at peace with it without losing sight of who I am.

Moving Forward with Clarity and Confidence

After the safari, I took time to heal and reflect. I sought feedback from trusted mentors and continued to develop my coaching skills. Most importantly, I embraced my identity beyond any single role or approval.

This experience taught me that rejection can be a powerful teacher. It reveals where we need to grow, where we belong, and who we are at our core. It also deepens our faith and resilience.

If you face rejection, remember:

• IT IS OK AND NORMAL TO BE "REJECTED" (You don't like everyone, not everyone is going to like you!)

• It does not define your worth.

• You are 100% talented and of value.

• It can reveal important truths about your path. Take stock in the feedback with a neutral outlook - where can you grow, what might be true that you didn't see. What is irrelevant or subjective.

• Your identity is strongest when rooted in something lasting - not in other people's opinions. Find your faith and trust in your highest purpose.

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To deepen your self understanding join me in my 6 week program:

The Everyday Woman Awakening!

(yup the very same that was not well received in Africa! Because it IS an incredible program hands down)

This program focuses on 4 pillars to anchor to as you build something bigger in the life you are living now. Maybe a business idea, a community project, or a more harmonious home and family dynamic.

Through the Spiritual, Heart Led, Emotional and Body Pillars you will gain clarity and peace in the version of yourself that exists and that is being created.

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